A FREE MARRIAGE SEMINAR—YOU CAN THANK ME LATER

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:1)

You are going to get off easy because I’m going to speak in the first person. Almost every problem in my marriage (and every relationship I have) could be solved if I were to do what this verse says. I suspect yours too! Sometimes I do what this verse says. Once in a while. Periodically. This verse says to be COMPLETELY humble and gentle, patient, bearing with one another. Ut oh!

These qualities tend to be the exact opposite of my default personality. When I’m on auto-pilot and not consciously dwelling in the power of the Holy Spirit I’m anything but humble and gentle and patient.

There are way too many times I take credit for things I could never have done without the help of God or my husband’s help. As far as God is concerned, I know I’ve taken credit for things God did that my fingerprints weren’t even on. Instead of being humble, many times I think that I know more than my man. Instead of being humble, there are still times I think my opinion is more important than his. There are certainly times when I think my needs trump his. How selfish is that?

What about being gentle? Even after I have read my Bible for the day sometimes I’m still harsh with my words. Sometimes right after I read it. I can hear myself being obnoxiously strong in my opinions. I can hear myself being critical and judgmental of his motives and actions. I wouldn’t want to be around me.

Instead of being gentle like this verse says I know I can be loud and brash. I can hear myself immediately going to the negative in a situation instead of the positive. Left unchecked, I can be overbearing. I know it. You don’t even need to point it out to me.

Ephesians 4:1 says to be patient but instead, I want him to do things faster. I want him to understand things quicker. I want him to get over his issues and work through his problems at my insensitive pace. I don't want to slow down my life for him. I don't want to stop and listen and wait and minister.

And I certainly don’t always "bear with one another in love." I can be so quick to throw my spouse under the bus. I can be quick to judge his motives. I can be quick to judge and cast blame.

Every now and then I’m what Ephesians 4:1 says I should be. It is getting more frequent. My prayer is that I would be "completely" what Ephesians 4:1 says I should be. This is convicting. But it is also hopeful. I can see that the more time I spend with Jesus that I’m getting better. I can’t fathom how wonderful my marriage will become if I stop focusing on how my precious husband can change and start to change myself! Can anyone say, “Second Honeymoon?”

How about you? Have you perfected it? You don’t really have to try to perfect it. The more you die to yourself and surrender to the Savior it just happens.